Calendars.com End of World 100% Money Back Guarantee
If the “end of the world” occurs on 12/21/12 (Central Standard Time Zone), Calendars.com will refund to you 100% of the purchase price of 2013 calendars or 2.7% of the purchase price of 2012 calendars.
The end of the world is defined as the end of all existence of any known, or unknown, life forms, animals, vegetables, or minerals within any known or currently unknown universe, solar system, or galaxy. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of calendars, or this promotion, in that universe cannot be guaranteed. The end of the world is not defined as the breakup of any relationship between Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez or the retirement of the McRib™ sandwich. If the end of the world results in a Waterworld scenario, please see Kevin Costner to receive your refund.
If the end of the world occurs on 12/21/12 and you would like to claim your refund, simply send us the following by 12/31/12:
1. Original invoice/receipt
2. Original product UPC code(s) from the back cover.
3. Proof that you somehow survived the end of the world. You must present two or more of the following:
a. Photographic evidence that you are alive and not a member of the dead or undead
b. Address, or coordinates of your fallout shelter or encampment, where you are staying
c. DNA proof that mutation has not occurred from radioactive sunspots or apocalyptic fallout
If the world ends and you have purchased a perpetual calendar you are now deemed a ‘time-keeper’ and officially an agent of Calendars.com authorized to act on our behalf in the issuance of refunds. Credit card refunds may only be issued to the original card used. Calendars.com is not responsible for delays in credits due to the decimation of banking in the new world. Refunds are not transferable to other parties and this guarantee is not combinable with any other end of the world offers. If credit cards are no longer available, refunds will be issued in the form of Twinkies™, gold bullion, water bottles, canned goods, incandescent light bulbs, roaches, or any form of new world currency at the discretion of Calendars.com.
If you are among the dead, or undead, or among any of those eligible for reincarnation then you are not eligible for this guarantee. If you’ve seen, and liked, the movie 2012 then you are not eligible for this guarantee. If you still believe in vampires and werewolves, it’s time for you to grow up!
FEMA has not rated calendars for effectiveness against Zombies. In case of a Zombie attack, please consult….wait, what are you…? No! ….. Stop! …. AAAaarrrrggggHhHHHH!!!
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards. However, please throw salt over your left shoulder and hang a garlic scented rabbit’s foot from your neck to ensure that no harm befalls you.
If you are reading this after December 22, 2012 then the “end of the world” has not occurred and this guarantee is null and void.
(This guarantee is also posted within the official Calendars.com help tool -> http://www.fuzeqna.com/calendars/consumer/kbdetail.asp?kbid=1141)